Matchmaking and Reversing The Paradox of Choice

A Book-Inspired Blog

How Divine Intervention handles serial-dating mentality and the notion of quality VS. quantity

American psychologist Barry Schwartz powerfully sums up the challenge we face when choosing a romantic partner in today’s world in his 2004 novel The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less.
 paradox-of-choice-datingThe whole idea behind Schwartz’s book is that people assume that more choices gives you more freedom to make decisions which lead to greater welfare. This idea is flawed—especially when it comes to dating—and Schwartz suggests we should opt for being Satisficers making “good enough” choices which will lead to happier lives, as opposed to being maximizers who need to exhaust all choices before making a decision. Maximizers are usually left feeling doubtful about their choice even after having made one.   

As matchmakers at Divine Intervention, our job is to reverse the paralysis current and prospective clients experience during the matchmaking and dating process.

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The Bigger Picture of Location-Based Dating

Why people are not finding the right partner

After thousands of extensive interviews over 11 years with clients, matches and those optimistic to find a partner, the team at Divine Intervention can’t help but notice that Vancouverites are dating predominantly based on geography—meaning they’re choosing location over more important items on their checklists.

Vancouverites simply have no idea either.

In our experience, Vancouverites believe they will fall in love with someone who lives within their neighbourhood proximity and that person will also have every quality they are looking for in a partner.

Here is a common example of what we encounter during our interviews:

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Summer First Date Ideas To Avoid

In Vancouver, there is EVERY reason to date someone great in the summer: beaches, bikinis, the ocean and more daylight to do the things you love. People are so fancy-free and easy-going as the sun shines down that sometimes we forget that there are certain summer activities you may want to avoid on your first date. First dates are already tricky; luckily, we Vancouver matchmakers are here to tell you exactly why your favourite activities might be doing more harm than good when it comes to dating.

For those who don’t want to just Netflix and Chill, and want to score a second date, here are three activities we don’t recommend for your summer-loving first date:

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FIRST DATE ETIQUETTE FOR MEN

first dates for men

First dates can be extremely tricky; both men and women are aiming to be their best selves while also making sure they don’t run into any first-date potholes—so to speak. Often times, a guy will tell us after a date that he thinks he totally hit it off with a woman, but when we talk to the woman, her side of the story can be very different. There are always two sides to every story.

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The research that proves why men aren’t getting to a second date

Young Woman  Sitting behind a Table

How many times have you gone on a date with a woman thinking it went well, but she never contacted you post-date even though you were a gentleman; took her to a nice place, opened the car door and even sent her a text to make sure she made it home okay? There could be more than one reason, but for starters, women interpreted your honest words for red flags. Having interviewed hundreds of matches post-date in our matchmaking service, we often hear from the woman that her date was a total gentleman, but that they “overshared” and she is not interested in a second date as a result of this.

Why?

Isn’t honesty the best policy?

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