The Bigger Picture of Location-Based Dating

Why people are not finding the right partner

After thousands of extensive interviews over 11 years with clients, matches and those optimistic to find a partner, the team at Divine Intervention can’t help but notice that Vancouverites are dating predominantly based on geography—meaning they’re choosing location over more important items on their checklists.

Vancouverites simply have no idea either.

In our experience, Vancouverites believe they will fall in love with someone who lives within their neighbourhood proximity and that person will also have every quality they are looking for in a partner.

Here is a common example of what we encounter during our interviews:

A man or woman walks into our office and is a born-and-raised Vancouverite and has lived in the same Vancouver neighbourhood his or her whole life. He/she mentions they really want to meet someone great and provides around six or seven top qualities (physical/mental/emotional) that he/she’s looking for in a partner. The moment we mention if he/she would be willing to date someone living in Metro Vancouver (Burnaby, Coquitlam, New West, etc), or if they would cross a bridge or go under a tunnel for a partner, he/she freezes. 

 

Why? This is what we call “Bridge-and-Tunnel Affliction” where the thought of dating someone that might require a commute completely turns them off. 

I wonder if people know that Vancouver only has 600,000 people, and if you’ve lived in Vancouver most of your life then you’ve probably met the majority of said population. I wonder if they know that if we include all Metro Vancouver that it still makes up 2.5 million people and that’s not even even taking into account married couples, children, elderly, and so on.  

So now we have someone who’s likely met a lot of people within proximity. Now we need to factor in age preferences and singlehood. As someone over the age of 40, that pool of people becomes significantly smaller.

And now we are onto the important things: morals and values.

And then don’t forget about level of attractiveness.

After 45-minute consults, many people leave our office feeling like the person they “want” to meet does not exist.

Guess what? He/she does—but you may need to leave Vancouver to find them. 

Expanding your pool is the only way you’ll meet new and suitable people. Just like landing your dream job, you will have to relocate since their head office may not be in your native city. Many people would relocate for a new career, but we find many people would not relocate for love. We have had a lot of success pairing up people who have commuted between two markets because they felt the relationship was worth it and they knew that their perfect partner may not actually be in their city. It requires a certain level of open-mindedness, which we strongly encourage if what you have been doing for dating has not been working for you.

Just realized you’re also dating for convenience? Give us a ring to find out what else might be keeping the love of your life from walking into yours. 

Curious about more distance-related dating? Check out this article on long-distance relationships

Summer First Date Ideas To Avoid

In Vancouver, there is EVERY reason to date someone great in the summer: beaches, bikinis, the ocean and more daylight to do the things you love. People are so fancy-free and easy-going as the sun shines down that sometimes we forget that there are certain summer activities you may want to avoid on your first date. First dates are already tricky; luckily, we Vancouver matchmakers are here to tell you exactly why your favourite activities might be doing more harm than good when it comes to dating.

For those who don’t want to just Netflix and Chill, and want to score a second date, here are three activities we don’t recommend for your summer-loving first date:

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FIRST DATE ETIQUETTE FOR MEN

first dates for men

First dates can be extremely tricky; both men and women are aiming to be their best selves while also making sure they don’t run into any first-date potholes—so to speak. Often times, a guy will tell us after a date that he thinks he totally hit it off with a woman, but when we talk to the woman, her side of the story can be very different. There are always two sides to every story.

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The research that proves why men aren’t getting to a second date

Young Woman  Sitting behind a Table

How many times have you gone on a date with a woman thinking it went well, but she never contacted you post-date even though you were a gentleman; took her to a nice place, opened the car door and even sent her a text to make sure she made it home okay? There could be more than one reason, but for starters, women interpreted your honest words for red flags. Having interviewed hundreds of matches post-date in our matchmaking service, we often hear from the woman that her date was a total gentleman, but that they “overshared” and she is not interested in a second date as a result of this.

Why?

Isn’t honesty the best policy?

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6 Reasons Weights Are Your Best Wingman By: Maria Lee

Divine Intervention Guest Blogger Series

I’m not here to sugar coat what women want; women are attracted to fit guys—physically, sexually, instinctively. Our eyes are drawn to toned muscles like yours are to cleavage.

If you’ve been going on dates with no luck at getting a second date, consider adding weight lifting to your every-day regimen.

Fitness tips for datingIt’s not magic. It’s cellular regeneration. Lifting weights causes muscle damage that your body has to repair by creating brand-new cells.

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