Thought and creativity are key, says B.C. executive matchmaker

It’s a crazy time for couples, and also for singles looking for love. We’re either supposed to be observing social distance rules under COVID-19 pandemic guidelines, or we’re too close, too much of the time.

“If you’re living with someone, you’re probably home more than usual, and that makes for a lot more intensity,” says Susan Semeniw, who helps singles and couples with advice as the head of Vancouver-based Divine Intervention executive matchmaking service. “Whatever issues you may already have around your relationship, they’re just going to be heightened and exacerbated.”

Meanwhile, singles are either breaking the rules by hanging out in bars in search of love, or trying to make dating work by phone or Zoom. “What I’m hearing from women who are dating,” says Semeniw, “is that most guys don’t know how to social distance, especially if there’s a drink involved. So if you’re going to see someone in person, just make sure that you discuss rules first.”

Heading into Valentine’s Day, here’s a grab bag of advice from Semeniw – plus some creative “date night” ideas – for either starting or rekindling romance.

Valentine’s Day is overblown… but get it right

Semeniw stresses that Valentine’s Day is just one day a year, and while it can be important to women in particular, it shouldn’t be seen as the barometer of a relationship’s health.

“It’s like a marriage versus a wedding,” she says. “It’s more important to acknowledge a person on a regular basis and really put some thought into your time with them. So while you can make Valentine’s Day special, you don’t have to spend a lot of money.”

Women still love to receive cards, says Semeniw, especially when they’re meaningful. She says a card with something thoughtful like “20 reasons why I love you” tend to carry the biggest impact. Valentine’s Day can also be a good time to offer an apology. “If you’ve been a bit of a cow during COVID, because you’ve been more stressed, you’re not alone,” she says. “Acknowledge that you haven’t been at your best.”

To spice up Valentine’s Day, consider some of these ideas (plus the list of specific “date night” ideas at the end of this story):

• A photo collage or digital slide show that take the two of you down memory lane.
• Takeout dinner from one of your favourite local restaurants.
• Re-create a memorable date or favourite meal, while sticking to COVID restrictions.
• At-home spa experience, complete with bubble bath/salts, scented candles, a favourite magazine or two, a bath pillow and/or a pre-packaged facial mask. Extra points for running the bath when your partner is 15 minutes from home, and turning the lights down low for a grand entrance.
• An evening of travel planning, for a long-awaited getaway once COVID travel restrictions are relaxed
• Sharing a dinner and/or a movie with another couple, via Zoom or Netflix Party.

Dating? Rediscover the art of good phone

As part of Semeniw’s executive matchmaking, she spends time helping men and women prepare for their first date. And she recommends that the first virtual meeting shouldn’t be via Zoom, but on the phone, for a short and predetermined amount of time (with an option to extend if things are going well).

“I always recommend to have a phone call first,” she says. “Make it relatively short, and always leave them wanting more. Later on, go ahead and move to Zoom if you’re comfortable, and be mindful of how you look. It’s a visual medium, so wear colours that work, take care with lighting, and smile.”

Semeniw is also big on walks, hiking, or snowshoeing, which can all be done within social distancing guidelines and which all provide ample opportunity to talk.

“For the most part people are taking more time to get to know someone,” she says. “At the end of the day, chemistry does happen in person but you can really create a connection and bond with someone on the phone, too.”

One couple that recently got together through Semeniw’s matchmaking service, a man from Calgary and a woman in Vancouver, were initially resistant to spending much time on the phone. But after a short first call went well, they found themselves engaging regularly in four-hour calls in the early months of the pandemic. They’ve since spent lots of time together in person, and are considering getting a place together… and perhaps even marriage.

As a relationship progresses, Semeniw recommends opting for phone calls over texts or emails. The lost art of a good phone call is on the rebound in COVID, and it reduces the chance of being misunderstood.

5 ideas for making that date, or date night, special

Remember the fun things you used to be able to do to share an evening with a date or your partner? Now think of how you might replicate that experience from the safety of your home, or at a safe distance, during this time of COVID-19 restrictions.

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, here are some ideas to get you going as you explore dating or “night out” options.

1. Cook up a night to remember

Whether you’re on an online date or at home with your partner, cooking together can be a fun way to break the routine. You can tackle a new recipe you’ve found, join an online cooking class, or cook together at an in-person (but distanced) cooking class. Vancouver’s Dirty Apron, for example, has a variety of classes Tuesdays through Saturdays with reduced numbers in their kitchen. Dirty Apron’s February 12 Ocean Inspired Couples’ Class, for example, features a menu of warm lobster and sturgeon caviar salad, salt crusted whole sea bream, and lemon basil crepes.

Did you know? Small appliances such as toaster ovens, Instant Pots, and air fryers can use up to 75% less electricity than using the oven or stovetop for the same recipe. Check out some great recipes at powersmart.ca.

2. Order in

Help keep your favourite restaurant afloat with takeout or food delivery. If you’re on a distanced date, consider ordering from the same place then sharing your meal and impressions of the food via Zoom.

Did you know? A December survey by Restaurants Canada found that 48% of small and medium-sized independent restaurants in Canada were facing the danger of permanent closure.

3. Virtual travel

Take a stroll down memory lane with a partner by viewing a digital slideshow from a past trip or revisiting a favourite location via one of several virtual travel sites online. Consider recreating a memorable meal you had on a trip. And if you’re just getting to know someone, why not take them on a guided virtual tour or embark on a destination totally new to both of you. Some virtual travel sites charge a fee, while many are free, including 360cities.net, and globotreks.com.

Here are a few specific virtual tours available online:

• Louvre courtyard with tourists at night (360-degree video)
• Cappadocia, Turkey virtual tour (YouTube video)
• Top 10 places to visit in Greece (YouTube)

Did you know? While there’s nothing like actually travelling to a place, the carbon costs of international travel – especially by air – are enormous. Flight-related CO2 emissions for a family of three flying round trip from Vancouver to France is 7.74 tonnes. That’s the equivalent of driving an SUV from Vancouver to Yoho National Park in the Rockies (and back) 10 times. One solution: once travel restrictions are lifted, consider travel in Canada, and try to take fewer international flights, for longer vacation durations, rather than flying somewhere each year.

4. Night at the museum

Google Arts & Culture is a treasure chest of visual experiences that include visits to many of the world’s top museums, including the Musée D’Orsay in Paris, the Museum of Modern Art in New York, and the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam. For maximum visual impact, find the tours via a browser on your smart TV or plug your TV into a laptop.

Did you know? A 2020 46-inch ENERGY STAR® Smart TV uses about a fifth of the electricity of a 2010 42-inch plasma TV.

5. Attend a virtual concert

You can catch the energy of a live concert by searching YouTube for live concert footage – sometimes for a whole concert – on YouTube. Or for generally better sound quality, opt for in-studio segments or fantastic NPR Tinydesk performances that have featured the likes of Dua Lipa, Michael Kiwanuka, Ty Dolla $ign, Billie Eilish, and John Legend. If you’re more into the alternative scene, Seattle’s kexp.org has a great archive of in-studio sessions.

Did you know? Musicians have lost revenue from doing live shows, and in many cases, it’s their biggest revenue stream. If you want to support a musician, consider buying band merchandise or music from their official site and/or purchasing their music from the likes of bandcamp.com.

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I would be lying if I said I met a single person who’s never used a dating site or app. It’s 2018 and technology is completely running our lives – and that includes our dating.

Here are 10 single-people problems and how matchmaking substantially helps you land the person you deserve.

1. You don’t have to worry about coordinating your dates

Between texting back and forth to a dating app match, and then actually coordinating a date (between the dates he or she is already going on), matchmakers are scheduling masterminds. No more tracking people down, getting their availability and then rescheduling only to actually flake on the date. With matchmaking, the team simply gets a few available slots to meet and send you an email confirmation. And we don’t like flakes nor do we tolerate them in this business. Any rescheduling is done through us to alleviate any of the stress that comes with that.

2. Matchmakers confirm your match actually looks like their photo

One of the biggest issues with online dating and dating apps is that people are uploading photos from 10 years or 10 pounds ago. Awesome, right? Nope. These aren’t the ideal terms when meeting someone. As professional matchmakers, we request to take our own photo of our clients and send those, as opposed to any of the edited photos a match or client has. It’s more casual, relaxed and gives a person a much better idea of what you truly look like. 

3. We follow up after the date and get honest feedback

Dating apps are notorious for ghosting, an incredibly demeaning term for those who aren’t courageous enough to tell their date that the chemistry wasn’t there. Instead, they decide not to say anything at all, and keep their date wondering if there will be a second date. Our clients are (surprisingly) honest with us during the feedback process because that’s what it takes to find the right person for them. More than that, being honest is part of how we evaluate integrity in a person. This isn’t always the most comfortable part especially of dating especially when we have been conditioned as a society to avoid saying how we really feel.

Related: People Lie about These Things on Dates, So Pay Attention

4. We always have your best interest in mind

Dating is extremely tough these days and matchmakers get it – they are on the journey with you. Exchanging profiles only to hear someone isn’t sharing the mutual interest and don’t feel it’s worth it to go on a date with someone we claim is kind, cool and worth a date, well – it’s their loss.  Yep, you heard that right. If someone doesn’t want to meet our client, it’s them who isn’t ready for love. At Divine Intervention, we have our clients’ backs. 

5. We do all the networking for you so you can focus on what matters

It’s commonplace to just join an app and network that way. And that’s perfectly okay. As a matchmaking company, we pride ourselves in attending a lot of events around the city to meet new people and build our network and nurture relationships. We get that many of our clients are working extensive hours to build their lives and that’s something we support. Leave the networking and meeting of new people up to us

6. Small dating tips and huge impact – that’s how we coach

Most of our clients have great date etiquette, and we support their continuous growth. It’s true that sometimes people don’t always know how to behave on dates. We use what we learn in the date feedback process to help people have better first dates. This is all discovered in the consultation with us as we dive deep into what you’re looking for in a partner and what hasn’t gone right in the past. 

Related: 8 Ways to Create Your Own Luck in Love

7. We pre-screen for looks and values – things you can’t on the apps

Assuming their photos is current and looks like them, it’s hard to gauge if your values and beliefs are the same. These are things matchmakers are screening for because meeting people isn’t the hard part – it’s finding someone who shares your same interests.

8. Analysis Paralysis is stopping us from settling down

There are millions of users online, and with a complete catalogue of singles in your area, it’s no surprise people are moving from one person to the next. With matchmaking, this is a process designed for people who have intentionally decided to settle down. We have designed a process that helps deal with the “department store shopping” mentality, as we say at Divine.

9. Feeling safe and comfortable isn’t as easy to predict before a date

We have met some amazing people throughout this experience, and we want to make sure our clients are comfortable on their dates with people we set them up with. That said, if someone makes us uncomfortable during our meeting, and we meet everyone in person before we set them up, we will not be engaging with them any longer. We use our intuition so you don’t have find yourself on a date that might poorly colour your dating experience.

10. Dating on your own perpetuates your bad dating patterns

It can be really difficult to admit you have a particular dating pattern – and even if your friends all know it, you still don’t know how to stop it. At Divine Intervention, we support you in breaking bad dating cycles so you can get on track with what you actually want in a partner. Having an accountability team for your dating is one of the biggest assets our clients say in the matchmaking experience.

Dating is hard and customized matchmaking is a great way to circumvent the stress many of us feel in today’s day and age. If you are feeling like the apps just aren’t working for you, please book us for a phone call at (604)-488-0866 or email us at info@divinematchmaking.com and let’s find out how we can help.

The post 10 Reasons Why Matchmaking is Better Than Any Dating App or Site appeared first on .

Your love life is important and deserves special attention.

Online can be a full-time job. Using a matchmaker cuts the hard work and energy of sifting through profiles during your spare time and making sure the people are real with good intentions.

We get the answers and information about someone that will take you much longer to find out.
Matchmakers do the leg work for you. We pre-screen people in-depth, ask a lot of questions on likes/dislikes, activities, background and assess compatibility and lifestyle.

We meet your prospects face-to-face, read energy and see beyond a one-way picture. And check if someone is true to their photo. We want to make sure that what you see is what you get. We see potential where you may be too quick too dismiss.
All you have to do is “DRESS UP & SHOW UP”

2. Confidentiality

If you value your privacy and discretion, or are a high-profile person dating in Vancouver, you may not feel as comfortable using online platforms and showcasing your personal life.

Matchmakers actively scout everywhere on your behalf. We pre-qualify on your behalf for two-way compatibility. We can approach and assess love potential without someone knowing who you are. And we can often get you an introduction that you can’t do on your own.

3. Honest Feedback

Date feedback, first impressions and presentation are essential.

Often there is a simple miscommunication between two individuals after a date. One person felt things were great, the other felt it went well however has a few concerns which they will happily share with us.

We create a safety net for you to be open and honest in your feedback. We’ve navigated many situations where a simple miscommunication would have caused the two individuals to never meet again, however with our inside knowledge from both parties… It’s a simple fix and magic happens.

People can reveal too much, repeat the same mistakes and patterns over and over again. We are here to break your cycle and have you open up to new opportunities.

We help you get out of your own way and ensure that you present your best foot forward.

4. We are experts in Dating and Relationships

In life we work better as a team and with an expert. Things get done quicker, better and more effectively. You go to a hair dresser to get your haircut, you find a dentist to fix your teeth, you go to an accountant for your finances and a personal trainer to up your physical game.

Matchmaking is an Art and Science. A professional Matchmaker can often see opportunities and potential where you do not and have access to high calibre men and women looking for a long-term relationship. Our job is to know people and see potential. We have an eye for chemistry.

The post Why Using A Matchmaker Works For Your Love Life appeared first on .

For the singles in the city, Valentine’s Day can shine a spotlight on your single status and make you feel down in the dumps. We believe a lot of singles glamorize couples together and how they lead their lives. It’s definitely not all champagne, chocolate and roses. Our personal opinion continues to be that Valentine’s Day much like New Year’s Eve is overrated for the most part. Being single for Valentine’s day means that you shouldn’t focus on Valentine’s Day as a national holiday, but more like a great time to do something fun with friends and family – people in your life that you love. Not everyone is into it, not everyone has a date for it, so take advantage and do something special for you. Treat yourself the way you want someone to treat you. We are advocates for making Valentine’s Day not just about romantic love but love in general for those people who impact your life in a positive way: special friends, relatives, kids, peers, coworkers, neighbours. Spread the love and celebrate the special people who are in your life.

Before and leading up to Valentine’s Day, plan small acts of kindness; it will always make you feel better about yourself and your contributions to this world. Give Valentine’s cards, chocolates, flowers to friends and people who make your life better. For example, one of our dearest friends celebrates the day by giving a red rose to every lady he sees on a daily basis. Talk about a small gesture that goes a long way for those receiving the roses. Spend the day or at least a few hours volunteering at a homeless shelter or old folks home. Lots of people in those facilities don’t have family left and are lonely. Your company will be so appreciated that day. Tell someone in your life how much you value them and why. Remember when you were a kid at school and Valentines were given out freely? Harness some of that.

After focusing on others, think about indulging yourself. Plan a special evening at home. You do not have a make dinner yourself – grab a special take-away meal from a restaurant and indulge in something special that you normally wouldn’t get. Do a girl’s night in and celebrate with homemade fun drinks, great appetizers, crank up the tunes and toast each other for being fabulous. Or stay in with one good friend and enjoy good food, wine and deep conversation. Valentine’s Day is also a perfect day to go visit any relatives. Men can plan a boys night! Enjoy a sports night in or out. Go out and talk to women that you see that are out and about. Working out will also alleviate any stress and build confidence. Make a plan to spoil yourself. And after the day; decide to do something proactive to change your single status. New Years Day was last month and some of us haven’t necessarily followed through on our goals or have not made them yet. Let today be the time to start.

Think you know your Valentine’s Day statistics? Think again:

• 53% women who would end their relationship if they didn’t get something for Valentine’s Day.

• Worldwide, approximately 110 million roses, the majority red, will be sold within a 3-day period.

• 73% of American men buy flowers on Valentine’s Day.

• Over 90% of Valentine’s Day flowers are purchased by men.<

• 15% of U.S. women send themselves flowers on Valentine’s Day – to make a statement.

• Every year around 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are sent.

• Teachers receive the most Valentine’s Day cards, followed by children, mothers, wives, and then, sweethearts.

• Parents receive 1 out of every 5 Valentine’s Day cards.

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Why people are not finding the right partner

After thousands of extensive interviews over 11 years with clients, matches and with those optimistic to find a partner, the team at Divine Intervention can’t help but notice that Vancouverites are dating predominantly based on geography—meaning they’re choosing location over more important items on their checklists.

Vancouverites simply have no idea they are doing this.

In our experience, Vancouverites believe they will fall in love with someone who lives within their neighbourhood proximity and that person will also have every quality they are looking for in a partner.

Here is a common example of what we encounter during our interviews:

A man or woman walks into our office and is a born-and-raised Vancouverite and has lived in the same Vancouver neighbourhood his or her whole life. He/she mentions they really want to meet someone great and provides around six or seven top qualities (physical/mental/emotional/spiritual) that he/she is looking for in a partner. The moment we mention if he/she would be willing to date someone living in Metro Vancouver (Burnaby, Coquitlam, New Westminster, etc.), or if they would cross a bridge or go under a tunnel for a partner, he/she freezes. 

Why? This is what we call “Bridge-and-Tunnel Affliction” where the thought of dating someone that might require a commute completely turns them off. 

I wonder if people know that Vancouver only has 600,000 people and if one has lived in Vancouver all their life then they’ve probably met the majority of the Vancouver population. I wonder if they know that if we include all Metro Vancouver that it still makes up 2.5 million people and that’s not even taking into account married couples, children, the elderly…you get the picture.  

So now we have someone who’s likely met a lot of people within proximity. Now we need to factor in age preferences and marital status. As someone over the age of 40, that pool of people becomes significantly smaller.

And now we are onto the important things: morals and values.

And then don’t forget about level of attractiveness.

After 45-minute consults, many people leave our office feeling like the person they “want” to meet does not exist.

Guess what? He/she does—give just takes a short commute to find them. 

Vancouverites, expanding your pool is the only way you’ll meet new and suitable people. Just like landing your dream job, you will have to relocate since their head office may not be in your native city. Many people would relocate for a new career, but we find many people would not relocate for love. We have had a lot of success pairing up people who have commuted between two markets because they felt the relationship was worth it and they knew that their perfect partner may not actually be in their city. It requires a certain level of open-mindedness, which we strongly encourage if what you have been doing for dating has not been working for you.

Just realized you’re also dating for convenience? Give us a ring to find out what else might be keeping the love of your life from walking into yours. 

Curious about more distance-related dating? Check out this article on long-distance relationships

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