Barry Schwartz, a U.S. psychologist, powerfully sums up the challenges faced when choosing a romantic partner in today’s world. Schwartz’s 2004 novel outlines that people often assume, more choices gives you more opportunity. This idea is flawed — especially in the world of dating. Schwartz suggests we should opt for being Satisficers making “good enough” choices which will lead to happier lives, as opposed to being Maximizers who need to exhaust all choices before making a decision. Maximizers are usually left feeling doubtful about their choice even after having made one.

Paralysis: One Of the Core Concepts of the Paradox Choice

As matchmakers at Divine Intervention, our job is to reverse the paralysis current and prospective clients experience during the matchmaking and dating process.

The selection of CHOICE can often lead a person into feeling indecisive and paralyzed. A person may feel overwhelmed on whether to go exclusive with someone, or continue exploring their options. Dating online has opened the doors for thousands of people within close proximity to be matched. This huge selection of choice however makes it difficult for people to STOP dating around,  in fear they might miss out on meeting the right person.

Classic example of The Paradox of Choice is when our team does date feedback follow up to see how our client enjoyed the date we set them up on:

“I really loved meeting John, he is just about everything I am looking for; however, I would still like to continue to meet your next match for me.”

This demonstrates symptoms of a Maximizer –

Although satisfied, she does not want to make a firm decision to stop meeting other people. She is solely hanging on to the idea that there are other bachelor(s) out there to be met, and will move onto the next in hopes that next match may be just be “The Perfect Match”

Perfection doesn’t exist however –  Maximizers believe that if there are so many choices out there, then they need not to settle for anything but perfection. This process is exhausting and disappointment is likely to arise.

3 ways Divine Intervention is trying to reverse the Paradox of Choice for our clients:

• Providing a select amount of introductions of higher quality to our clients;
• Providing varied lengths of membership, for time to get to know their matches without the burnout and without feeling the need to dismiss and move onto the next match quickly;
• Guiding clients out of the Maximizer mentality by educating them on their patterns and deciding collectively to make a shift in thinking towards “less is more” when it comes to dating and that it’s not always just a “numbers game”

 
Tired, confused and feeling like you’re just a number? Email info@divinematchmaking.com and find out how we help you do dating differently.
 
Want to know more on The Paradox of Choice? Check out Barry Schwartz’s Ted Talk here

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I would be lying if I said I met a single person who’s never used a dating site or app. It’s 2018 and technology is completely running our lives – and that includes our dating.

Here are 10 single-people problems and how matchmaking substantially helps you land the person you deserve.

1. You don’t have to worry about coordinating your dates

Between texting back and forth to a dating app match, and then actually coordinating a date (between the dates he or she is already going on), matchmakers are scheduling masterminds. No more tracking people down, getting their availability and then rescheduling only to actually flake on the date. With matchmaking, the team simply gets a few available slots to meet and send you an email confirmation. And we don’t like flakes nor do we tolerate them in this business. Any rescheduling is done through us to alleviate any of the stress that comes with that.

2. Matchmakers confirm your match actually looks like their photo

One of the biggest issues with online dating and dating apps is that people are uploading photos from 10 years or 10 pounds ago. Awesome, right? Nope. These aren’t the ideal terms when meeting someone. As professional matchmakers, we request to take our own photo of our clients and send those, as opposed to any of the edited photos a match or client has. It’s more casual, relaxed and gives a person a much better idea of what you truly look like. 

3. We follow up after the date and get honest feedback

Dating apps are notorious for ghosting, an incredibly demeaning term for those who aren’t courageous enough to tell their date that the chemistry wasn’t there. Instead, they decide not to say anything at all, and keep their date wondering if there will be a second date. Our clients are (surprisingly) honest with us during the feedback process because that’s what it takes to find the right person for them. More than that, being honest is part of how we evaluate integrity in a person. This isn’t always the most comfortable part especially of dating especially when we have been conditioned as a society to avoid saying how we really feel.

Related: People Lie about These Things on Dates, So Pay Attention

4. We always have your best interest in mind

Dating is extremely tough these days and matchmakers get it – they are on the journey with you. Exchanging profiles only to hear someone isn’t sharing the mutual interest and don’t feel it’s worth it to go on a date with someone we claim is kind, cool and worth a date, well – it’s their loss.  Yep, you heard that right. If someone doesn’t want to meet our client, it’s them who isn’t ready for love. At Divine Intervention, we have our clients’ backs. 

5. We do all the networking for you so you can focus on what matters

It’s commonplace to just join an app and network that way. And that’s perfectly okay. As a matchmaking company, we pride ourselves in attending a lot of events around the city to meet new people and build our network and nurture relationships. We get that many of our clients are working extensive hours to build their lives and that’s something we support. Leave the networking and meeting of new people up to us

6. Small dating tips and huge impact – that’s how we coach

Most of our clients have great date etiquette, and we support their continuous growth. It’s true that sometimes people don’t always know how to behave on dates. We use what we learn in the date feedback process to help people have better first dates. This is all discovered in the consultation with us as we dive deep into what you’re looking for in a partner and what hasn’t gone right in the past. 

Related: 8 Ways to Create Your Own Luck in Love

7. We pre-screen for looks and values – things you can’t on the apps

Assuming their photos is current and looks like them, it’s hard to gauge if your values and beliefs are the same. These are things matchmakers are screening for because meeting people isn’t the hard part – it’s finding someone who shares your same interests.

8. Analysis Paralysis is stopping us from settling down

There are millions of users online, and with a complete catalogue of singles in your area, it’s no surprise people are moving from one person to the next. With matchmaking, this is a process designed for people who have intentionally decided to settle down. We have designed a process that helps deal with the “department store shopping” mentality, as we say at Divine.

9. Feeling safe and comfortable isn’t as easy to predict before a date

We have met some amazing people throughout this experience, and we want to make sure our clients are comfortable on their dates with people we set them up with. That said, if someone makes us uncomfortable during our meeting, and we meet everyone in person before we set them up, we will not be engaging with them any longer. We use our intuition so you don’t have find yourself on a date that might poorly colour your dating experience.

10. Dating on your own perpetuates your bad dating patterns

It can be really difficult to admit you have a particular dating pattern – and even if your friends all know it, you still don’t know how to stop it. At Divine Intervention, we support you in breaking bad dating cycles so you can get on track with what you actually want in a partner. Having an accountability team for your dating is one of the biggest assets our clients say in the matchmaking experience.

Dating is hard and customized matchmaking is a great way to circumvent the stress many of us feel in today’s day and age. If you are feeling like the apps just aren’t working for you, please book us for a phone call at (604)-488-0866 or email us at info@divinematchmaking.com and let’s find out how we can help.

The post 10 Reasons Why Matchmaking is Better Than Any Dating App or Site appeared first on .

For the singles in the city, Valentine’s Day can shine a spotlight on your single status and make you feel down in the dumps. We believe a lot of singles glamorize couples together and how they lead their lives. It’s definitely not all champagne, chocolate and roses. Our personal opinion continues to be that Valentine’s Day much like New Year’s Eve is overrated for the most part. Being single for Valentine’s day means that you shouldn’t focus on Valentine’s Day as a national holiday, but more like a great time to do something fun with friends and family – people in your life that you love. Not everyone is into it, not everyone has a date for it, so take advantage and do something special for you. Treat yourself the way you want someone to treat you. We are advocates for making Valentine’s Day not just about romantic love but love in general for those people who impact your life in a positive way: special friends, relatives, kids, peers, coworkers, neighbours. Spread the love and celebrate the special people who are in your life.

Before and leading up to Valentine’s Day, plan small acts of kindness; it will always make you feel better about yourself and your contributions to this world. Give Valentine’s cards, chocolates, flowers to friends and people who make your life better. For example, one of our dearest friends celebrates the day by giving a red rose to every lady he sees on a daily basis. Talk about a small gesture that goes a long way for those receiving the roses. Spend the day or at least a few hours volunteering at a homeless shelter or old folks home. Lots of people in those facilities don’t have family left and are lonely. Your company will be so appreciated that day. Tell someone in your life how much you value them and why. Remember when you were a kid at school and Valentines were given out freely? Harness some of that.

After focusing on others, think about indulging yourself. Plan a special evening at home. You do not have a make dinner yourself – grab a special take-away meal from a restaurant and indulge in something special that you normally wouldn’t get. Do a girl’s night in and celebrate with homemade fun drinks, great appetizers, crank up the tunes and toast each other for being fabulous. Or stay in with one good friend and enjoy good food, wine and deep conversation. Valentine’s Day is also a perfect day to go visit any relatives. Men can plan a boys night! Enjoy a sports night in or out. Go out and talk to women that you see that are out and about. Working out will also alleviate any stress and build confidence. Make a plan to spoil yourself. And after the day; decide to do something proactive to change your single status. New Years Day was last month and some of us haven’t necessarily followed through on our goals or have not made them yet. Let today be the time to start.

Think you know your Valentine’s Day statistics? Think again:

• 53% women who would end their relationship if they didn’t get something for Valentine’s Day.

• Worldwide, approximately 110 million roses, the majority red, will be sold within a 3-day period.

• 73% of American men buy flowers on Valentine’s Day.

• Over 90% of Valentine’s Day flowers are purchased by men.<

• 15% of U.S. women send themselves flowers on Valentine’s Day – to make a statement.

• Every year around 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are sent.

• Teachers receive the most Valentine’s Day cards, followed by children, mothers, wives, and then, sweethearts.

• Parents receive 1 out of every 5 Valentine’s Day cards.

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