Why people are not finding the right partner
After thousands of extensive interviews over 11 years with clients, matches and with those optimistic to find a partner, the team at Divine Intervention can’t help but notice that Vancouverites are dating predominantly based on geography—meaning they’re choosing location over more important items on their checklists.
Vancouverites simply have no idea they are doing this.
In our experience, Vancouverites believe they will fall in love with someone who lives within their neighbourhood proximity and that person will also have every quality they are looking for in a partner.
Here is a common example of what we encounter during our interviews:
A man or woman walks into our office and is a born-and-raised Vancouverite and has lived in the same Vancouver neighbourhood his or her whole life. He/she mentions they really want to meet someone great and provides around six or seven top qualities (physical/mental/emotional/spiritual) that he/she is looking for in a partner. The moment we mention if he/she would be willing to date someone living in Metro Vancouver (Burnaby, Coquitlam, New Westminster, etc.), or if they would cross a bridge or go under a tunnel for a partner, he/she freezes.
Why? This is what we call “Bridge-and-Tunnel Affliction” where the thought of dating someone that might require a commute completely turns them off.
I wonder if people know that Vancouver only has 600,000 people and if one has lived in Vancouver all their life then they’ve probably met the majority of the Vancouver population. I wonder if they know that if we include all Metro Vancouver that it still makes up 2.5 million people and that’s not even taking into account married couples, children, the elderly…you get the picture.
So now we have someone who’s likely met a lot of people within proximity. Now we need to factor in age preferences and marital status. As someone over the age of 40, that pool of people becomes significantly smaller.
And now we are onto the important things: morals and values.
And then don’t forget about level of attractiveness.
After 45-minute consults, many people leave our office feeling like the person they “want” to meet does not exist.
Guess what? He/she does—give just takes a short commute to find them.
Vancouverites, expanding your pool is the only way you’ll meet new and suitable people. Just like landing your dream job, you will have to relocate since their head office may not be in your native city. Many people would relocate for a new career, but we find many people would not relocate for love. We have had a lot of success pairing up people who have commuted between two markets because they felt the relationship was worth it and they knew that their perfect partner may not actually be in their city. It requires a certain level of open-mindedness, which we strongly encourage if what you have been doing for dating has not been working for you.
Just realized you’re also dating for convenience? Give us a ring to find out what else might be keeping the love of your life from walking into yours.
Curious about more distance-related dating? Check out this article on long-distance relationships