Man up and ask her out
Everything starts with a simple “hello”. If you’re attracted to a woman while you’re out, whether you’re at a bar, the library, grocery store, coffee shop, walking outside, etc. take the lead and start a conversation. There’s need for cheesy pick-up lines, just act confidently and be yourself. Remember to stand up straight, take up space, avoid fidgeting and always establish eye contact.
The first impression that you make is so critical. With that in mind, read below for some tips for successfully taking that first step and approaching women.
Read her body language
Body language can tell you so much about a woman’s state of mind. Read her body language before approaching. If you notice her smiling at you or making eye contact with you, chances are that she’s interested in talking to you. If you notice her playing with her hair, or primping or grooming herself, crossing and uncrossing her legs while looking your way, consider this your green light to go over and start a conversation. This is the moment of truth – SO GO!
When approaching a woman, always be yourself and talk to her like a regular person. In most cases the best starting point for a conversation is simply, “hi”. Don’t try too hard or force an interesting topic, conversation should flow naturally. A genuine compliment can go a long way, just be wary of coming off too strong by commenting on a specific body part. Go with the flow. If you have a natural sense of humour, use it. Being funny is always good if you can pull it off without appearing stiff or nervous. Remember, you’re not in the locker room with your buddies so avoid inappropriate humour and anything that would come across as childish.
Listening is an art. Ask a question and really pay attention to what a woman has to say. If you’re approaching a woman in a social situation there’s a good chance that you’ll be with a group of her friends, so be sure to acknowledge her friends in a genuine way. It’s unlikely that she’ll ditch her friends just to have a conversation with you, so try to include them in the conversation too. At the same time make sure that she knows that your interest lies with her and not with one of her friends.
Important: Don’t be the guy who annoys or irritates a woman and her friends, if you’re a pest, they’ll send you packing quickly. Be respectful and don’t get too close. Most women need personal space. Don’t be ‘touchy’ until a rapport is established. Avoid topics that are overtly sexual or cheesy and don’t say anything offensive!
Buy her a drink
If you’re in a bar, an easy way to make a good first impression on a woman is to buy her a drink. However, always make sure that you do so with no string attached and in a no-pressure situation. If you’re expecting some sort of action in return, you probably shouldn’t bother buying a drink in the first place. Also, it should go without saying that if you’ve had too much to drink, never approach a woman. You’re not going to make a good first impression if you’re sloppy.
Get her number
Once you’re properly introduced, you’ve established a rapport, had an interesting conversation and you’re ready to conclude things, be sure to get her phone number. Always ask for her number or business card. Women want men to take the lead, be confident, in charge and initiate in the beginning. Think HUNTER. Tell her how nice it was to meet her and make a plan to connect again. Always follow up when you say you will.
Manage your expectations
It’s unrealistic to think that every woman you meet will be interested in you. Many women simply have a type and you may not meet her criteria, so don’t take it personally. There’s also the reality that she may be already be taken, not everyone is single after all. Prepare yourself for all outcomes and if you get turned down don’t take it personally. Be proud of yourself for having the guts to go out there and put yourself on the line.
Practice, practice, practice
Practice makes perfect. The more you engage with people the easier and more natural if will be become. Start practicing conversations with random strangers in general so establishing an off the cuff conversation with someone will become more natural. Also remember that for the most part women are flattered when approached since it makes us feel attractive.
Ladies, listen up
Ladies, if a man has the courage to engage and approach you, always be nice. If you’re not interested, simply say that you’re flattered or taken and you appreciate him coming over. Mean girls don’t get far and karma’s a bitch.