The New Year is all about making fresh starts so here are some tips to get 2015 off to a good one if you’re single and looking.
Break out of your comfort zone and change things up. Alter the dynamic of what you’re doing to meet people. Learn a new sport – a team or individual one: skiing, running, hiking, golfing, etc. Attend spectator sports – hockey, football, soccer, baseball – whatever’s in season. Ladies these are great places to meet men. Volunteer at an animal shelter, hospital, or on a business committee. Go to art galleries, libraries, sign up for a class and go to seminars. Say yes to as many social and business invitations as possible. While it’s important to break out of your comfort zone, be sure to balance things out by doing things and going places that you like. This will ensure that you’re meeting like minded people.
INDULGE IN YOUR PASSIONS
Find your passion and do it. Whether it’s a cooking class, wine tastings, painting or music, figure out what gets you excited about life or that one thing that you’ve been putting off and just do it.
MAINTAIN AN OPEN MIND
Don’t be so quick to dismiss people and ideas, first give them a chance. Stop putting together ridiculous lists or pre-requisites for potential partners. For instance, ladies, get over the tall thing – wanting someone 6’feet and taller is fine but don’t dismiss a potentially great partner because of their height. Stop wanting everything and just look for a good person with whom you share a chemistry. Common ground and values are what hold a relationship together, not superficialities. Stay away from rigid lists and make room to invite the right person to enter.
ENGAGE WITH THE WORLD AROUND YOU
Be friendly to your neighbours and strangers – be the first to smile and say “hello”. You never know when you could meet someone who could change your life. It can happen anywhere at anytime, from standing in line at a coffee shop to squeezing a cantaloupe at the supermarket. This applies to connecting with both sexes so breaking the ice becomes natural to you.
Pry your focus away from your smartphone and pay attention to the real world and the people around you. Smile, maintain eye contact, pay attention to who is around you. Be friendly and start with a genuine compliment as an icebreaker. Whenever possible, unplug from technology and social media – nothing is a substitute for real life connections.
MAKE AN EFFORT TO LOOK GOOD
Physical appearance is huge. Humans are highly visual, judgmental and quick to dismiss. You may not get another chance to make a good impression. Get your act together in terms of overall grooming, clothes and being in shape. Put effort into how you look. Men like women to look like women. Guys – look current.
Go to the gym and commit to a health plan to lose weight and feel better. A smile is sexy so have if you have bad teeth – get them fixed!
Men: If you see a womam that you’d like to talk to, man up and approach her. Women: Always be nice if someone approaches you. Treat them with respect even if you’re not interested in them romantically. Be courteous. You never know who someone knows.
CHECK YOUR ATTITUDE
Be a positive person and surround yourself with positive people. Happy, friendly, positive people are liked by others and attract other happy, positive people. Bitterness, a victim mentality, cynicism and neediness are qualities that others easily pick up on. You must believe that there are good members of the opposite sex out there and that you will meet someone. Surround yourself with encouraging and open minded people.
Many people are delusional in terms of how they come across and their subsequent expectations. Ask a good friend (someone of the opposite sex is bonus) to constructively give you some honest feedback on how you can improve yourself and what you may be doing that hinders your appeal to the opposite sex. Often those who aren’t comfortable in their own skin are the most picky and judgemental about a potential mate.
Relax and have fun. Stop trying to fast track intimacy, romance needs time to develop. Don’t be desperate or clingy. This can scare off a potential good mate. Don’t grill your date like they’re at a job interview. Women in particular need to realize that men can tank on a first date so give the guy a chance.
RECOGNIZE THAT RELATIONSHIPS TAKE WORK
So many of us have been brainwashed by Hollywood and Fairytales of Prince Charming. The real world is very different, so don’t bail at the first sign of a blip. Misunderstandings are often common in the beginning so give someone a chance. Until you have the glue that binds people can be very judgemental and quick to dismiss today. It takes work to mesh two lives, especially as you get older. Compromise is key.
Enter into a relationship for the right reasons. Get a life of your own and keep it. Make sure you don’t enter a relationship with someone who is not right for you, just to avoid being lonely, because your clock is ticking, your friends are all partnered up, your ex has a new lover, etc. Being with someone you can be authentic with, have chemistry and common ground with is key.
GET OVER YOUR PAST
Break free of bad patterns, bad picks, bad relationship dynamics, the walking wounded. If something hasn’t been working break the cycle. Conversely, don’t assume that if someone does one thing that reminds you of an ex that they are tarnished. Don’t paint everyone with same brush, look at each person individually.
GET PROFESSIONAL HELP
And most importantly don’t be afraid to ask for professional help. Hire a professional matchmaker or dating coach! There are lots of different options based on someone’s budget. If you’re interested in our services, contact us today!