The Paradox of Choice – Why MORE may be resulting in LESS  

Barry Schwartz, a U.S. psychologist, powerfully sums up the challenges faced when choosing a romantic partner in today’s world. Schwartz’s 2004 novel outlines that people often assume, more choices gives you more opportunity. This idea is flawed — especially in the world of dating. Schwartz suggests we should opt for being Satisficers making “good enough” choices which will lead to happier lives, as opposed to being Maximizers who need to exhaust all choices before making a decision. Maximizers are usually left feeling doubtful about their choice even after having made one.

Paralysis: One Of the Core Concepts of the Paradox Choice

As matchmakers at Divine Intervention, our job is to reverse the paralysis current and prospective clients experience during the matchmaking and dating process.

The selection of CHOICE can often lead a person into feeling indecisive and paralyzed. A person may feel overwhelmed on whether to go exclusive with someone, or continue exploring their options. Dating online has opened the doors for thousands of people within close proximity to be matched. This huge selection of choice however makes it difficult for people to STOP dating around,  in fear they might miss out on meeting the right person.

Classic example of The Paradox of Choice is when our team does date feedback follow up to see how our client enjoyed the date we set them up on:

“I really loved meeting John, he is just about everything I am looking for; however, I would still like to continue to meet your next match for me.”

This demonstrates symptoms of a Maximizer –

Although satisfied, she does not want to make a firm decision to stop meeting other people. She is solely hanging on to the idea that there are other bachelor(s) out there to be met, and will move onto the next in hopes that next match may be just be “The Perfect Match”

Perfection doesn’t exist however –  Maximizers believe that if there are so many choices out there, then they need not to settle for anything but perfection. This process is exhausting and disappointment is likely to arise.

3 ways Divine Intervention is trying to reverse the Paradox of Choice for our clients:

• Providing a select amount of introductions of higher quality to our clients;
• Providing varied lengths of membership, for time to get to know their matches without the burnout and without feeling the need to dismiss and move onto the next match quickly;
• Guiding clients out of the Maximizer mentality by educating them on their patterns and deciding collectively to make a shift in thinking towards “less is more” when it comes to dating and that it’s not always just a “numbers game”

 
Tired, confused and feeling like you’re just a number? Email info@divinematchmaking.com and find out how we help you do dating differently.
 
Want to know more on The Paradox of Choice? Check out Barry Schwartz’s Ted Talk here

I would be lying if I said I met a single person who’s never used a dating site or app. It’s 2018 and technology is completely running our lives – and that includes our dating.

Here are 10 single-people problems and how matchmaking substantially helps you land the person you deserve.

1. You don’t have to worry about coordinating your dates

Between texting back and forth to a dating app match, and then actually coordinating a date (between the dates he or she is already going on), matchmakers are scheduling masterminds. No more tracking people down, getting their availability and then rescheduling only to actually flake on the date. With matchmaking, the team simply gets a few available slots to meet and send you an email confirmation. And we don’t like flakes nor do we tolerate them in this business. Any rescheduling is done through us to alleviate any of the stress that comes with that.

1. Matchmakers save you time

Your love life is important and deserves special attention.

Online can be a full-time job. Using a matchmaker cuts the hard work and energy of sifting through profiles during your spare time and making sure the people are real with good intentions.

We get the answers and information about someone that will take you much longer to find out.
Matchmakers do the leg work for you. We pre-screen people in-depth, ask a lot of questions on likes/dislikes, activities, background and assess compatibility and lifestyle.

We meet your prospects face-to-face, read energy and see beyond a one-way picture. And check if someone is true to their photo. We want to make sure that what you see is what you get. We see potential where you may be too quick too dismiss.
All you have to do is “DRESS UP & SHOW UP”

2. Confidentiality

If you value your privacy and discretion, or are a high-profile person dating in Vancouver, you may not feel as comfortable using online platforms and showcasing your personal life.

Matchmakers actively scout everywhere on your behalf. We pre-qualify on your behalf for two-way compatibility. We can approach and assess love potential without someone knowing who you are. And we can often get you an introduction that you can’t do on your own.

3. Honest Feedback

Date feedback, first impressions and presentation are essential.

Often there is a simple miscommunication between two individuals after a date. One person felt things were great, the other felt it went well however has a few concerns which they will happily share with us.

We create a safety net for you to be open and honest in your feedback. We’ve navigated many situations where a simple miscommunication would have caused the two individuals to never meet again, however with our inside knowledge from both parties… It’s a simple fix and magic happens.

People can reveal too much, repeat the same mistakes and patterns over and over again. We are here to break your cycle and have you open up to new opportunities.

We help you get out of your own way and ensure that you present your best foot forward.

4. We are experts in Dating and Relationships

In life we work better as a team and with an expert. Things get done quicker, better and more effectively. You go to a hair dresser to get your haircut, you find a dentist to fix your teeth, you go to an accountant for your finances and a personal trainer to up your physical game.

Matchmaking is an Art and Science. A professional Matchmaker can often see opportunities and potential where you do not and have access to high calibre men and women looking for a long-term relationship. Our job is to know people and see potential. We have an eye for chemistry.

For the singles in the city, Valentine’s Day can shine a spotlight on your single status and make you feel down in the dumps. We believe a lot of singles glamorize couples together and how they lead their lives. It’s definitely not all champagne, chocolate and roses. Our personal opinion continues to be that Valentine’s Day much like New Year’s Eve is overrated for the most part. Being single for Valentine’s day means that you shouldn’t focus on Valentine’s Day as a national holiday, but more like a great time to do something fun with friends and family – people in your life that you love. Not everyone is into it, not everyone has a date for it, so take advantage and do something special for you. Treat yourself the way you want someone to treat you. We are advocates for making Valentine’s Day not just about romantic love but love in general for those people who impact your life in a positive way: special friends, relatives, kids, peers, coworkers, neighbours. Spread the love and celebrate the special people who are in your life.

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More about Erica Arrechea: Co-Founder & Certified Matchmaker at Cinqe, and a VP at Millionaire’s Club: Head hunter for love to professional singles since 2011 in Silicon Valley, San Francisco, Orange County, Los Angeles and VIP clients all around the US. She writes about dating and shares her opinion and wisdom on anything that has to do with getting people to find love. IG: @Erica_arrechea