If you’re flying solo

With all the hoopla and imagery surrounding Valentine’s Day, it can really shine a spotlight on your single status and make you feel down in the dumps. I believe a lot of singles glamorize couples together and how they lead their lives. It’s definitely not all champagne, chocolate and roses. My personal opinion is that Valentine’s Day much like New Year’s Eve is overrated. As a single person, it’s important that you don’t focus on Valentine’s Day as a national holiday, but more like a great time to do something fun with friends and family. Not everyone is into it, not everyone has a date for it, so take advantage and do something special for you. I’m an advocate for making Valentine’s Day not just about romantic love but love in general for those people who impact your life in a positive way: special friends, relatives, kids, coworkers, neighbours. Spread the love and celebrate the special people who are in your life.

With a White Horse on the Side

“He has to be handsome, have money, have a great personality and oh—did I mention he has to be tall?” We’ve heard the laundry list many times—and women continue to wait for ‘Mr. Perfect’. We wait and we wait and we wait … and start wondering what happened to our Prince Charming. Reality check, ladies—Prince Charming and his white horse do not exist! (Shocking, isn’t it?) From a very young age, we are exposed to fairy tales where the main character gets to live with her prince. Even when we’re old enough to know that the characters in the fairy tales don’t exist, we still think that one day we’ll get married to the perfect guy. This leads us to have unrealistic expectations of a man who is tall, handsome, successful, fit, caring and so on and so on. It’s really too bad you can’t order significant others off a menu to suit your specifications!

In the emotionally topsy-turvy world of the heart, Matchmaker Vancouver stands firmly behind a few undeniable tenets.

General Dating Tips

• Surround yourself with people who are just as positive about dating and relationships as you are. Negative friends bring negative energy, and this can lower your self esteem making it harder for you to relax and enjoy yourself.
• Approach dating with specific goals in mind. If it’s marriage you’re looking for, be honest with yourself about your own expectations. If you don’t want anything serious, let your partner know.
• If you’re not connecting with someone, don’t lead them on. It’s better to tell the truth than continue forward with lukewarm feelings. Be diplomatic and courteous, and you will become more confident in general.
• When it comes to picking a good spot, remember that “less crowded, more quiet” is part of a successful first date. Pick somewhere you’re comfortable and confident that you will be able to both see and hear your date.
• BE ON TIME. Making someone wait for you may make them anxious and uncomfortable, and could taint the rest of your date.
• Always be polite. Everyone has something of value to offer, so even if you feel right away that this person is not for you, appear interested until the date is over. It’s a short amount of time and you never know what may come of this meeting.
• Body language can make or break a date. Often we stand or sit in an off-putting way without realizing it. Remain as open as possible. Avoid crossing your arms and appearing closed off; lean in and subtlety mirror your date.
• Tell the truth. Lying about your age or embellishing your income, education or personal stats is a slippery slope. It can be exhausting, and when the truth comes out it’s hard to rebuild trust.

Here a just  a few of our favourite articles from experts in the field that provide excellent insights into dating and metting that perfect someone:

• Wish list or hit list? Is your love quest realistic? – By Olga Sheean (PDF)
• Dating Style 101 – By Giovanni Amenta / Pink and Grey Image Consulting (PDF)
• Check your messages …and upgrade your life – By Olga Sheean (PDF)
• Relationship recipe – By Olga Sheean (PDF)
• The power of no – By Olga Sheean (PDF)
• How to avoid Disaster: Dating 101– By Kate Elliott (PDF)
• Technology and Dating: “Progress” Isn’t Always a Good Thing – By Kate Elliott (PDF)
• Embrace the Single Summer Life! – By Kate Elliott (PDF)
• Win-win dating – Mastering the deeper dynamics – By Olga Sheean (PDF)
• Blissful pairing — By Mark Ainley (PDF)

So you have a date set up by your matchmaker, or maybe you went out and got one yourself. Whatever the case may be, here are some first date bare bones essentials:

Relax

A first date is not the stuff of life or death. Take some deep breaths, go for a run, have a massage or a long hot bath beforehand. Pop some Bach Flower Rescue Remedy into your purse. A drop under your tongue should take a bit of the edge off. And please choose an outfit that you feel entirely comfortable and attractive in.